Saatchi’s copy claptrap

Newspeak-006I know it’s not nice to slam other people’s copy efforts, but this one really is screaming out for a virtual red pen. Charles Saatchi’s new show British Art Now has an accompanying catalogue which honestly defies belief. Here’s an excerpt all about the artists:

“Articulated as doublespeak, they hand-make the virtual, cite history in fugue fervour, and find the poetic and enduring in the cacophony of pop cultural din.”

Great isn’t it?

Here’s another on the art duo Littlewhitehead:

“Littlewhitehead’s yoot spectacle boasts like a national emblem: hoodie-pack in a corner, both menacing and humorously punitive, elevating happyslapping to the level of white cube sublime.”

You can read more on the Guardian site if you can take it. But while you’re getting through the Kleenex and wondering how this happened, here are my suggestions:

1. It’s been written quite deliberately on the basis that if you don’t get it, you don’t get contemporary art and should quite frankly naff off and polish your Athena posters and Van Gogh prints.

2. It was written by a recent art school graduate (BA Hons, first class in Pretension) and the commissioning gallery folk have bought it as new, youthful and therefore cutting-edge.

3. Art people live in a little creative paint-splattered bubble where real life never happens. Consequently they have never heard of copywriters or have any point of reference for their own ridiculousness.

4. It’s a joke and we’ve all missed it. As the BBC’s Paul Morley called it: “one of the great pieces of comedy writing of the year.”

Your suggestions and definitions of ‘yoot’ by email please.